Ever since I was a child, I've been haunted by a single question: "Who am I?" People know me as Sandeep, a son, brother, father, cousin, or friend. But who am I, truly, at my core?
I recall being three years old, staring at my reflection in the mirror, and weeping at the thought that one day everyone I love, including myself, would be gone. This fear has persisted, and my curiosity about my identity has transformed into a constant internal noise.
In my quest for answers, I've explored numerous religions and the stories of enlightened individuals. One common thread runs through them all: the simple act of breathing in and breathing out.
The internet and autobiographies alike claim that focusing on our breath can control our thoughts and transport us to a different realm. But how can something as mundane as meditation achieve this, and if it does, is it real or merely a creation of the mind?
Some meditation practitioners liken the mind to a chatty monkey, suggesting that it's up to us whether we listen to its constant chatter or not. However, this concept perplexes me - who is the one speaking, and who is the one listening?
In my pursuit of inner peace, I've tried various meditation techniques, such as Isha Kriya from Sadhguru, but found it difficult to focus even after following all the steps. I've watched countless Kundalini videos and read about out-of-body experiences, yet I still struggle to find the answers I seek.
Despite my curiosity and desire for self-discovery, I wonder if not everyone is suited for meditation. Perhaps, in the end, I'm not the right person to embark on this journey.