Seeking the Unseen: My Journey from Believer to Skeptic
Introduction:
I embarked on my spiritual journey a decade ago, a young 28-year-old man full of hope and wonder. The year was 2011, and my life was consumed by an insatiable curiosity to explore the depths of my consciousness. I was captivated by the concept of Out-of-Body Experiences (OBE) and the mystical practices of Pranayama, Kriya Yoga, and Kundalini Yoga. My quest led me to the teachings of Robert Monroe, Paramahamsa Yogananda, and countless other spiritual masters. But as I stand here in 2023, a 40-year-old skeptic, I can't help but reflect on the transformation of my beliefs and the frustrations that led me to question everything I once held dear.
The Allure of OBE:
It all began with the writings of Robert Monroe. His accounts of traveling through astral planes and experiencing OBEs struck a chord within me, igniting a fire that fueled my spiritual endeavors. I immersed myself in his books, meticulously studying his techniques in the hope of achieving my own OBE. I practiced diligently, but despite my best efforts, I remained earthbound. My initial enthusiasm waned, and the seeds of doubt began to sprout.
Exploring Kriya Yoga:
Disappointed but not defeated, I turned to the teachings of Paramahamsa Yogananda. His book, "Autobiography of a Yogi," introduced me to the world of Kriya Yoga—a spiritual practice aimed at achieving self-realization through breath control, meditation, and specific body movements. Eager to learn, I attended workshops and seminars, dedicating myself to this ancient practice. Yet, as the years went by, I found myself disillusioned, as the promised self-realization and spiritual experiences continued to elude me.
The Kundalini Awakening:
Determined to find answers, I delved into Kundalini Yoga, a practice focused on awakening the dormant Kundalini energy within the body. I was captivated by the accounts of practitioners who had experienced the awakening, describing it as a transformative and blissful event. I longed to experience this for myself, to feel the spiritual connection I so desperately craved. But despite my unwavering dedication, the sought-after awakening never arrived.
The Frustrated Pursuit for Happiness:
It is now 2023, and I stand before you a changed man. My once-ardent belief in OBEs, Kriya Yoga, and Kundalini Yoga has been replaced by a heavy veil of skepticism. The countless hours spent in pursuit of spiritual growth , all of it, seemingly for naught. The disappointment of not experiencing the promised spiritual states weighs heavily on my heart.
Becoming Skeptic
As I reflect on my journey from a hopeful believer to a disillusioned skeptic, I can't help but wonder if there's still a missing piece, a key to unlocking the spiritual experiences I've sought for so long. Perhaps it lies within, in the acceptance of my own limitations and the understanding that true happiness may not come from external practices but from the peace we find within ourselves. Whatever the future may hold, my spiritual journey is far from over, but the path I follow is now paved with caution and critical thinking.
