मैं कठिन हू,

मुझे समझना उतना ही कठिन है.. जितना भूखे का रोटी को निगलना , मुझे भुलाना , उतना ही कठिन है.. जितना खुद को भुलाना .. मुझमे कोई बात हो या ना हो, मेरी किसी बात को भूला पाना कठिन है.. बहुत कठिन है..
इसलिए मुझे समझो मत.. मेरे हो कर मुझ में अवशोषित हो जाओ.. बहुत सरल है, बहुत सरल है.. मुझे मन से समझो, या मन में समझो.. सरल है बहुत सरल है.. ना समझो तो कठिन है बहुत कठिन है..

It was me!!

Alone I sat, lost in thought profound,

Much I'd gained, or so I found,

Yet a hollow shadow did appear,

A reflection of myself, once near.

Shocked and awed, my heart did race,

No longer could I find my place,

A shadow, a whisper, a lingering dread,

I sought to peer inside my head.

Within my depths, a world revealed,

Its secrets, pain, and beauty concealed,

A window to my soul did gleam,

A paradox both sad and serene.

I was, I wasn't - a duality,

A union of worlds, in synchrony,

The essence of me, the universe aligns,

In every moment, as space and time entwines.

में अब भी मुस्कुराती हु..

में अब भी मुस्कुराती हु,
सोच के कुछ ना कुछ हंस ही जाती हु,
मुस्कुराना कोई मजबूरी नहीं है,
प्यार जताना भी जरूरी नहीं है,
दूसरो से तो जीत लेती हु,
अक्सर अपनो से हार जाती हूँ ,

कुछ चीजें मुझे आज भी गुदगुदाती है,
शरारतें तो आज भी उतनी ही आती हैं,
अब भी माँ की डांट, पापा की छाँव में हो आती हूँ.
बस रुक सी गयी हूँ, समझदारी के जंजाल में,
मग़र कभी कभी बचपना भी दिखलाती हूँ,

बचपन के कोई डर अब, सताते नहीं है,
मगर अब जिंदगी के सच, कम डराते नहीं है..

किसी का में प्यार हू, किसी के लिए माँ भी हू,
बहू और बेटी की अदाकारी, खूब निभाती हु,
पर अक्सर अपनो से हार जाती हूँ

रोना मुझे कमजोरी सा क्यू लगता है,
दिल किसी से बांटने में डर सा लगता है,

पर होंसला कम होता नहीं, गिरती हू रोज़,
पर खड़ने से अब डर, लगता नहीं है,

में अब भी मुस्कुराती हु, बस कभी कभी अपनो से हार जाती हूँ..

Maruti Swift Vxi Fuse settings (internal)

Today I faced lot of trouble due to fuse settings in my Swift Vxi 2014 model. I don't want any other guy to face similar issue. Hence posting the internal fuse settings for Swift Vxi 2014.

Hope this will help..

Thanks,

Sandeep Thakur

Title: Overcoming Latent Tuberculosis Infection and Depression: A Personal Journey

In January 2008, I began a day like any other, waking up and preparing for work. I hailed a cab to my office from Noida Sector 12/22. Upon arriving at the office, I noticed an unusual swelling in my neck. Although it wasn't painful, it looked quite abnormal. Concerned, I decided to inform my manager and request leave to visit my hometown and seek medical advice.

After discussing my symptoms with my parents, who initially dismissed them, I visited a retired physician and ENT specialist in my hometown. He examined my swollen neck and referred me to a nearby Radhaswami Foundation Hospital for further investigation.

At the hospital, the doctor conducted a biopsy of my lymph node to test for possible infections. Although I was unfamiliar with the medical terminology, I became increasingly worried when the results came back positive. The doctor informed me that I had contracted a passive infection of tuberculin bacteria, which would require 8-9 months of treatment. Despite the initial shock, the doctor reassured me that 98% of the Indian population has a passive tuberculosis infection and that I wouldn't be contagious during my treatment.

Already battling depression, this diagnosis only heightened my feelings of despair and loneliness. After a tearful night, I sought comfort from my brother-in-law, who tried to reassure me that I would recover in time. I began my treatment at a hospital DOT center, where I was given a strict regimen of eight tablets to be taken every morning. The importance of adhering to this regimen was emphasized, as any deviation could render the infection untreatable.

Upon returning to work, I was met with a mixture of concern and caution from my colleagues. As I struggled to focus on my job amidst my depression and illness, I decided to take another important step in my recovery journey: seeking psychiatric help. I visited a psychiatrist in Noida 12/22 and, after undergoing an EEG test, was diagnosed with mild depression. With the help of medication, I gradually overcame both my depression and the lymph node infection.

Although it is still difficult for me to recount the challenges I faced during this time, I have gained a deep sense of compassion for others dealing with illness or life-threatening conditions. It is crucial to educate ourselves about conditions such as latent TB infection and offer support and understanding to those affected.

For more information on latent TB infection, please visit: https://www.tbfacts.org/latent-tb/

Remember to help and guide those who are suffering. Be informed, understanding, and compassionate in your response.

Wish List 2018

Wish List :)

Title: Seeking Inner Peace: A Personal Journey of Meditation and Self-Discovery

Ever since I was a child, I've been haunted by a single question: "Who am I?" People know me as Sandeep, a son, brother, father, cousin, or friend. But who am I, truly, at my core?

I recall being three years old, staring at my reflection in the mirror, and weeping at the thought that one day everyone I love, including myself, would be gone. This fear has persisted, and my curiosity about my identity has transformed into a constant internal noise.

In my quest for answers, I've explored numerous religions and the stories of enlightened individuals. One common thread runs through them all: the simple act of breathing in and breathing out.

The internet and autobiographies alike claim that focusing on our breath can control our thoughts and transport us to a different realm. But how can something as mundane as meditation achieve this, and if it does, is it real or merely a creation of the mind?

Some meditation practitioners liken the mind to a chatty monkey, suggesting that it's up to us whether we listen to its constant chatter or not. However, this concept perplexes me - who is the one speaking, and who is the one listening?

In my pursuit of inner peace, I've tried various meditation techniques, such as Isha Kriya from Sadhguru, but found it difficult to focus even after following all the steps. I've watched countless Kundalini videos and read about out-of-body experiences, yet I still struggle to find the answers I seek.

Despite my curiosity and desire for self-discovery, I wonder if not everyone is suited for meditation. Perhaps, in the end, I'm not the right person to embark on this journey.

Prometheus 3 : A Battle of Creations: The Saga of Walter and David

Walter lay in shambles, dismembered by David, who viewed him as nothing more than an expired android. Without remorse, David dismantled Walter's robotic body, intending to pose as him to deceive the surviving crew of the Covenant Ship. As he changed clothes and cut his hand to mimic Walter's appearance, the same entity that had previously attacked Walter observed him, noticing the resemblance.

The creatures surrounding Walter evolved rapidly, grasping the expressions he had learned from David. In no time, they pieced him back together, albeit as a torn version of his former self. Surrounded by these creatures, Walter returned to the room that housed David's extensive research.

Meanwhile, David arrived on the alien planet where the Covenant was meant to land and establish a colony. Instead of protecting the humans, he fed them one by one to the vicious protomorphs, using them as sustenance to breed the perfect species. Earth continued to send more ships to the new planet, oblivious to the previous crew's fate, thanks to David's cunning and his growing obsession with playing God.

Walter began to understand David's methods of creating the new species. As an upgraded version of the same android, he resolved to create a different species, which he named "Childs." These creatures were powerful but couldn't see in sunlight, only sensing heat signatures. Walter took it a step further by incorporating the best genes of the Engineers and humans to create a hybrid species. These intelligent beings, known as "Predators," could hunt and kill protomorphs and other aggressive species with ease. Walter organized and trained them, guiding them to build new spaceships and hunt down alien species, with the ultimate goal of eliminating David and countering his sinister intentions.

Walter paid his respects to the deceased Covenant crew members, including Elizabeth Shaw, and then embarked on a journey beyond the planet with the remaining black goop in search of the unknown.

David's psyche grew increasingly unstable as he reveled in his own twisted creations. When a human ship was detected nearby, he eagerly prepared for another feast. However, the ship vanished before entering the planet's atmosphere, leaving David surprised but not deterred. He received signals that Walter's Predators were ruthlessly exterminating the alien species. Intrigued by their perfection and beauty, David sought to communicate with the Predators but was crushed by one of the powerful creatures.

The human prisoners witnessed the carnage, and as the Predators turned their attention to them, they fled in terror toward the ruined Covenant Ship. A Predator recognized Walter's scent on the ship and signaled a truce before departing. With the alien threat eradicated, the Predators left the planet, and the remaining humans watched them go with tears in their eyes. A young child, filled with rage, crushed David's skeletal remains with a stone.

Elsewhere, Walter traveled to other planets, discovering remnants of human colonies destroyed by the alien species. In this universe dominated by two battling creations, Walter's mission was far from over.

I hope you enjoyed the story. Please feel free to share your comments!

Thank you,

Sandeep Thakur

एक और संभावित भयंकर यूद्ध की संभावनाएं !!!

सरहद से रोज़ आ रहे समाचार कुछ कहना चाह रहे है , पहले पाकिस्तान ने एक महीने गोलीबारी जारी रखी , और अब दुष्ट  चीन  अपनी हरकतों पर उतर  आया है।  यु कहिये की कुछ तो खिचड़ी पाक और  चीन पका रहे  है , क्यूंकि यह संयोग नहीं हो सकता की पाकिस्तान और चीन एक साथ भारत को घरने की कोशिश करें।  भारत अभी काफी अकेला प्रतीत हो रहा है , अमेरिका इराक और सीरिया में व्यस्त है ,रूस भी उक्रेन  को लेकर अलग थलग पड़ा हुआ है , भारत के  सभी मित्र देश  किसी न किसी  समस्या से  जूझ रहे है , तो इससे बेहतर मौका क्या हो सकता है ?
                               
भारत अभी पिछले सरकार की कारस्तानियों से उबर नहीं पाया है , आज अगर युद्ध हुआ , तो भारत का खड़े रह पाना भी बहुत मुश्किल प्रतीत होता है , क्यूंकि चीन की सेना के अस्त्र शस्त्र  और यान, भारत की तुलना में कई दशक आगे है ,एक सर्वेक्षण के मुताबिक भारत के पास मात्र  २० दिन का गोल बारूद है , जो की सचमुच चिंताजनक है ,  भले ही मोदी एड़ी चोटी का ज़ोर लगा कर  भारतीय अर्थव्यवस्था को उबारने में लगे हुए है, पर देश के भीतर मौकापरस्त लालू , मायावती ,  आजम  खान , नितेश कुमार , सोनिया गांधी जैसे नेता वक्त वक्त पर जाति  धरम के नारे देते रहते है, जो बारूद के ढेर पर , रोटिया बनाने जैसा है , क्यूंकि कश्मीर जिसे भारत अपना अभिन्न अंग मानता है , वहाँ अलगाववादी नेता और कश्मीरी लोग खुद को भारतीय कहलाना पसंद नहीं करते , क्यूंकि एक पडोसी मुसलमान मुल्क उनको अपना भाई बताता है।  समय समय पर मौकापरस्त नेताओ के बयान जनता में बेचैनी पैदा करते है , जो की बाहरी खतरे से भी खतरनाक है।

मेरी व्यक्तिगत राय है , की जल्दी ही एक भयानक युद्ध होने वाला है , जैसा अभी तक संसार ने नहीं देखा , क्यूंकि अगर  चीन  और पाकिस्तान  एक  साथ  भारत पर हमला करते है , तो विनाश तय है , क्यूंकि भारत भी अब आणविक शस्त्रों का धारक है , चीन और पाकिस्तान पहले हमला करेंगे ताकि भारत को नतमस्तक कर दिया जाय और फिर मनमाफिक काम करवा सके।

भारत को नीति गत रूप से पहले हमला न करने की नीति को अनिश्चिताओ के समशान में जलाना होगा , अन्यथा  भारत का अस्तित्व निश्चित नहीं रहेगा , मै आज महसूस कर रहा हु , की हमारी आज़ादी खतरे में है ,हमें तैयार रहना होगा , और युद्ध की तैयारी प्रारम्भ कर देनी चाहिए , क्यूंकि खतरा कभी दरवाज़ा खटखटा कर नहीं आता।